Yoga Pam: If You Can, You Must

I’m here to up my yoga game up a notch.

I’m going to master one-legged poses, convoluted rotations, and headstands. At least, that’s what I told myself when I started this journey.

It’s nice to tell ourselves uplifting bedtime stories. It’s not so nice when they collide with reality in a fiery explosion of denial and self-delusion.

Because the truth is, even if I’m ready to change my game, I’m not willing to.

Class after class, when Pam invites us to try Headstand, or Side Crow, or any of what she calls the “circus” poses—the very reason I’d allegedly come to work with her—I opt out. I can hardly believe I’m doing it, but I am. What’s up with that?

Every class, Pam introduces the challenging “Level Two” pose after an appropriate warm-up interval. She offers props. She talks us through the alignment. She spots us. When she comes to me, I say, “No thanks, I’m not ready.”

The first few times, she quietly accepted my refusal. She’s a yogini, after all—quiet acceptance is a requisite state. Soon I sensed her reaction as she offered and I refused. Why not? Isn’t that why you came? What’s holding you back?

The answer is the same as always, the same answer that holds all of us back, every time we shy away from something that at least theoretically we want. FEAR.

Fear of failing. Fear of pain. Fear of appearing foolish. You know—general garden variety, ego-driven fear.

One day, as Pam was riffing her yogic wisdom, she said, “Now it’s time for Bridge pose. Or Wheel. If you have Wheel, take Wheel. Go quickly, before you have time to think about it and realize it might be a bad idea. Go. If you can, you must.”

I pushed up into Wheel. My shoulders ached a bit, but really, it was no problem.

If you can, you must.

And there it is. Another of those aphorisms that makes me wonder what the heck I’ve been doing with my first 37 years on earth. What have I been telling myself, instead of these obvious and dramatically reverberating truths?

A pack of lies, apparently.

It’s time to replace I can’t, I don’t want to, and I’m scared with something better: If I can, I must. And so I will.

Side Crow, here I come. 

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What’s your yoga story? We want to hear your experiences of amazing teachers, pesky poses, and changed minds . . . Share in the comments below.

Next up? The Perfection in the Ease.

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Michelle Superle writes books plus other stuff and earns a living teaching people how to do it too. She gets her wellness on by running around with the lovely human male, charming dog, and beautiful horses she lives with. Join Michelle through her journey back to yoga.