When it comes to a healthy lifestyle, you probably have some concrete word associations. Kale and Crossfit. Paleo and yoga. Bacon and napping (hey, good for the soul is fair game).
Where does pornography fit into our overall health?
Once upon a time, graphic images were hard to come by (no pun intended, unless you like puns like that). It certainly wasn’t as easy as a hop, skip and a click away. Now, if you’re over 18, it’s no problem at all to indulge your voyeuristic side as often as you want. If you’re under, how easy is it to lie?
Many studies done by businesses that benefit from erotic consumption claim that more women watch and enjoy pornography (50 Shades of Grey is a soft-core example). It’s become more commonplace for couples to watch an adult film together.
However, what are the possible repercussions? How is it affecting how men and women relate to each other?
Three sexperts weigh in:
Russell Brand.
On Russell Brand’s YouTube channel the Trews, he weighs in on the effects of pornography (wearing a terry cloth towel, no less).
He says, “we’re all interested in sex, but our attitudes to sex have become warped and perverted.” He then quotes an anonymous priest: “Pornography is not a problem because it shows us too much. It’s a problem because it shows us too little.”
In short, it reduces the spectacle of sex.
Brand then looks at the Journal of Adolescent Health, which states that prolonged exposure to sex can lead to an exaggerated perception of sexual activity in society, diminished trust between intimate couples, the abandonment of hope of sexual monogamy and the belief that promiscuity is the natural state. Brand admits that his relationship with pornography is the “hub of his feelings of inner conflict and doubt.”
He also said that if he had total dominion over himself, he would kick his porn habit to the curb. He hasn’t been able to make a long-term commitment to ridding himself of his porn habit, which he says is affecting his ability to relate to women and to himself.
Simone Paget, sex columnist.
“As a woman in her 30's, I've definitely been exposed to the lingering negative effects of porn in my own dating life. When it comes to sex, there seems to be a growing disconnect: guys are saying and doing things that they've obviously picked up from porn.
I was in a relationship for a huge chunk of my twenties during which porn became increasingly available online. Now that I'm single and in my 30's, I've noticed a growing disconnect between sexual need and the need for intimacy. People are expecting to do crazier and more outlandish things in the bedroom, while shying away from actual intimacy."
Cindy Gallop, founder, “Make Love, Not Porn.”
This popular TED speaker quickly delves into how hardcore pornography has distorted the way that men think about sex.
Cindy dates younger men and encounters the ramifications of hard-core pornography. She says there is an entire generation “growing up that believes that what you see in hard core pornography is the way that you have sex.” She refers to the fact that we live in a puritanical double standards culture where no one is talking about sex so that porn itself has to work as sex education.
“As a mature, experienced, confident older woman, when I encounter this, I have no problem realizing that a certain amount of reeducation, rehabilitation and reorientation has to take place.” Her website posts the myths of hardcore porn, rebalancing them with reality. She says that it is not meant to be judgmental; she watches porn as long as it doesn’t vaguely resemble “open heart surgery.”
She says that porn only represents one worldview. She wants to start a dialogue and reframe an open, healthy conversation around sex.
If we’re thinking about being mindful, conscious people, we might as well talk sex.
Three people, three opinions. What is yours?
